Assess the Pee Situation

Bedwetting is a common problem. But every child (and every family for that matter) reacts to it differently. Take a few moments to evaluate the effect that bedwetting is having on you, your child, and your whole family. Knowing how much, or how little, everyone seems to be affected by it will help you come up with a treatment plan. 

Because 99% of children outgrow bedwetting, your child’s feelings should concern you more than the bedwetting itself. Is your child crying a lot and convinced he’ll have to give up his “big boy” pants for Huggie’s pull-ups? For every child that’s devastated by the bedwetting, there’s a child who’s totally unphased by it. The very worried child will need extra reassurance that there’s nothing wrong with them. With the carefree child, make sure they understand they should work on ending the bedwetting – but without converting them into a worrier.  Different parents have achieved different levels of “worry wart.” Some are world class heavy weights, others don’t even make the qualifying rounds.

Part of evaluating the problem is evaluating your own reaction to it. Does it keep you up at night or do you simply wash the sheets and forget about it? Has it had a minimal impact on your life or has it greatly interfered with your daily routine?  Make sure you’re taking the problem seriously, but ease up if you recognize that you’ve gone into panic mode. If the bedwetting has you massively stressed out, then you’ll need your own plan of action for handling it.  

The frequency of the bedwetting itself also deserves some attention. Some kids wet the bed nightly. Other kids may only do it a few times a month. The more frequently it occurs, the more aggressive you need to be in seeking treatment.

Bedwetting and Circadian Rhythms?

Ever hear of circadian rhythms? It’s basically this unseen force in your body that says, “It’s dark – you should sleep. It’s light – you should get up.” Of course, we mess that all up by staying up watching TV, having lights on, that kind of thing.  But here’s the other thing circadian rhythms do – they tell your body to speed up or slow down of various bodily functions – including urinating. Ahhhh – we may be onto something! Does your bedwetting child use a night light? Mine likes to sleep with a regular, full-sized lamp on all night. In fact, if we turn it off, he’ll pop awake and say, “Mom, you’re busted!” He’s not really afraid of the dark (or so he says!), but just likes it on.  I’m up for a few nights of experimenting – how about you? Of course, this may cost me a few bucks (bribe money!). I’d like to see what happens pee-wise if he sleeps in a dark room (even just with the hall light on instead of the one in his room). If you try it, let me know what happens.

Night Lifting – Not to be confused with Night Prowling!

You’ve probably heard that waking your child up during the night can help with bedwetting. “Night lifting” is the name for this technique. Night lifting is effective for children who wet the bed because they’re heavy sleepers. They’re so conked out that they’re body doesn’t send the “wake up our bladder is full” signal.  Night lifting is simple. You wake up your child, walk them to the bathroom, and then help them back into bed after they’ve urinated.  

It’s called lifting, but no actual lifting need be involved.  

A very young child might need to be carried, but there’s no need to strain your back lifting your six-year-old out of bed. Most children wet the bed at about the same time every night. This tends to especially be true of children who follow a daily routine. If you know what time the accidents tend to occur, you can set your alarm to wake your child up before this time. I suppose you can figure this time out in one of two ways: set up a bed-side reconnaissance mission or simply experiment with different wake-up times until you’ve hit on the one that seems right. For instance, after a few days, you might realize that your child is dry before 11pm but wet after 1am. In time, you can effectively alter their nighttime “routine.” Their bodies will eventually set their own little internal alarm clocks. 

Night lifting is a free alternative to bedwetting alarms.  

The outcome of the two techniques is the same: your child’s body becomes programmed to wake up at night when their bladder is full. Enuresis alarms can cost upwards of $100, so I say give the freebie method a go before you lay out the cash.

More Than 50% of the Time Isn’t Too Shabby

Most children who wet the bed only do so at night. But there is a small percentage of children that have trouble making it to the bathroom during the day, too. If your child has bladder control problems both day and night, they might have an overactive bladder. Basically, they’re bladder is an overachiever, churning out pee 24/7! Children with an overactive bladder have to go to the bathroom much more frequently than others.  

You should see a doctor if you think your child might have an overactive bladder. The doctor will have advice for correcting the problem, and he or she can detect the possibility of any medical issues. Of course, bedwetting is very rarely caused by a serious medical condition. But, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Plus, you don’t want that overachieving bladder of theirs to interfere with school or other activities.  

Chances are, though, your child falls into the category of kids who only wet the bed at night. You can encourage your child by pointing out that they do well making it to the bathroom during the day. Explain the logic in kiddy terms – you’re able to get to the bathroom during the day, so, in time, you’ll able to do the same at night. This can be reassuring to children who feel babyish because of their bedwetting. Older children, in particular, might fear that they’re a hair’s breadth away from being back in diapers day and night. Reminding them that they don’t have trouble during the day will assure them that their potty training didn’t somehow come undone.

They’re beating the Vegas house odds, after all!

It Is Better to Give than to Receive – Especially When Loads of Laundry Are at Stake!

As Bing Crosby once said (or sang, rather), you’ve got to accentuate the positive! When your child makes it through the night dry, be sure to praise them. Positive reinforcement can go a long way towards motivating your child to keep working on the problem.  

I also found that a point system works well. Each dry night counts for one point. When your child reaches a certain number of points, they get a small prize or treat.  Or, you could also use different levels of prizes. For example, three points buys a piece of candy, five points means a small toy, and ten points is a trip to a fun place, like the zoo. Knowing a double-scoop cone from Baskin Robbins is at stake might keep them from balking at the “no drinks an hour before bedtime” rule. 

If money’s a little tight, your child can earn points towards a free pass on a messy room or an extra half-hour of cartoons.  Whichever route you decide to go, the prizes will serve as a goal your child can work towards. It’ll be that little extra boost to encourage them to really try at the techniques you’ve implemented.  

Even something as simple as a weekly chart can generate excitement and motivation. Every dry night gets a gold star on the chart. Let your child put the sticker on the chart themselves. Kids are very “I have to see it to believe it,” so a visual reminder of their progress can be very effective.  

So a hearty thanks to psychologist B.F. Skinner, whose work showed the world the wonders of positive reinforcement — I’m guessing he had a bed wetter!  If you haven’t gotten your copy of the free report “Got a Bedwetter? Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid” just visit www.bedwettinghelpformoms.com and request it.

Punishment is the Biggest Bedwetting No-No

If I could give parents only one piece of bedwetting advice, it would be to never punish your child for wetting the bed. Punishment won’t fix the problem, and it will make your child feel downright awful. In the end, I suspect that parents who punish their children for wetting the bed wind up feeling pretty lousy, too.  

A child who wets the bed isn’t simply being lazy.

In the vast majority of cases, they’re either very deep sleepers and/or they have an underdeveloped bladder. Punishing a child for wetting the bed will no more solve the problem than would grounding a child for having an asthma attack. 

Sometimes parents think that bedwetting is a form of “acting out.” They feel like some sort of punishment will show their child that bedwetting is an unacceptable way of expressing their feelings. Again, children who wet the bed aren’t doing it on purpose. It follows, then, that punishment won’t put an end to the bedwetting. 

Also, punishing your child will increase the feelings of shame associated with bedwetting. They’ll feel like they’re somehow a bad person. Emotional stress could actually make the problem worse. Occasionally, all kids willingly do things we consider outright gross, like eating crayons or covering themselves in mud from head to toe. Despite our child’s delight in the periodic yuck factor, no child would choose to wet the bed.  

It’s already an unpleasant experience for everyone.

The best approach is to find some way to shift the focus from “You failed because you wet the bed last night” to “Yay! You made it through the night dry!”  Be sure to sign up for your free copy of “Got a Bedwetter? Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid” by visiting www.bedwettinghelpformoms.com.

Aha, That’s Why It Didn’t Work!

Sometimes physicians prescribe desmopressin to help treat bedwetting. It’s usually prescribed as a nasal spray. It works for many children (at least as a temporary fix – so something good to keep in mind for traveling, sleepovers, and camp). In fact, studies show it seems to work pretty well for about 70% of bedwetters.  

But what about the other 30%? What’s going on there? I know it didn’t work for our family. About all it did was give him a runny nose and a bunch of grumbling! Turns out, a study done in Denmark shows that the kids it didn’t work for have a higher level of sodium and urea in their urine than the kids it worked for. 

That’s right – sodium and urea. Just like the two ingredients that make cat pee stink so bad when it’s in your carpet or upholstery. This explains some things, don’t you think? If you’ve ever stood in your laundry room and felt like you might keel over, this is why. Sodium and urea biodegrade the longer they’re on the laundry.

I’m not going to get all scientific, but the upshot is that bacteria love this stuff, and do their thing in it. The result? P.U.! Anyhow, this hormone-like substance is the culprit. If you’re having a hard time, here’s a product that helps eliminate urine odor – I’ve found it very helpful. Don’t know how it works, except that it uses enzymes to naturally eliminate the critters that cause the stink. Let me know how it works for you.

Have a Chat – Build Goodwill

Kids will be kids, as they say. But in some ways, they’re little tiny adults. They appreciate the ability to share their input as much as we do. After all, isn’t that really what they’re doing when they inform us that they hate brushing their teeth?  I’ve found that it helps to sit down with your child and talk about your plan for resolving the bedwetting.

As much as we hate those extra loads of laundry, it really is your child who has the greatest stake in this whole thing. All of your well-researched and thoroughly-considered techniques might seem like a bizarre set of new rules to your child.  

Your child will be more receptive to the process when they understand it.  

Explain what all is involved with your plan – what the methods are, how they work, and why they’ll help. Give your child an opportunity to ask questions.  This is also an opportunity to gauge their reaction to certain methods. Like I mentioned before, it’s best not to force the issue if your child seems dead set against a particular plan of action. 

If a method is short-term, be sure to let your child know. They’re likely to be more open to an idea if they know it’s only temporary. Children’s imaginations can run wild. A 6-year-old might see herself wearing absorbent underpants to her high school prom if you don’t let her know it’s only for a month or two.   Keep the chat informal but informative. Just a few minutes of your time can make your child feel like you’re partners. 

If you could use some support and encouragement in your quest for dry nights for your bedwetting child, sign up for the free Bedwetting Help for Moms (and Dads!) newsletter at http://www.bedwettinghelpformoms.com. You’ll also receive the free report “Got a Bedwetter? Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid”.

Peas and Pee: Ask Your Child’s Opinion

 Kids and parents often disagree on what qualifies as a good idea – eating your peas before your chocolate pudding comes to mind. Bedwetting solutions are no exception. A technique you think is a great might sound like sheer misery to your child. 

For lots of reasons (our child’s comfort as well as our own sanity!) we’re looking for ways to end the bedwetting ASAP. When you read about the different techniques, there’s a temptation to rush to Target and start buying charts, stickers, and absorbent undergarments. Before you go shopping for pee gear, sit down and ask your child which approach they feel most comfortable with.  

One big reason is that certain techniques will only work with your child’s whole-hearted participation. 

Another reason is that all kids are different. For some, a given technique might feel really embarrassing, and then your good intentions will wind up being counterproductive. For instance, a three-year-old probably won’t be phased by absorbent undergarments. A six-year-old, however, might cry foul at what they perceive as a quasi-diaper. 

A child may be willing to try a technique at first, but after time, they may discover that they don’t like it. 

Be open to switching approaches. In the end, you’ll be more successful than if you insisted on forging ahead with a plan that’s in place but ineffective.  And hey, let’s be honest. No one likes to waste money. Some techniques, such as bedwetting alarms, can cost you a pretty penny. I definitely wouldn’t be thrilled to find out that the fairly pricey gadget makes my child feel like one of Dr. Frankenstein’s experiments!

Taking Care of the Skin They’re In

Bedwetting has very few physical side effects. One thing to watch out for, though, is skin irritation. You don’t want to share this analogy with your child (eek!), but you can think of it as diaper rash. If a baby is left in a wet diaper too long, their skin gets really irritated. Laying in urine for several hours will have the same effect.  

For your child, skin problems can be a painful (literally!) reminder of the problem. Plus, they might find it kind of scary to have a rash in such sensitive areas. 

The skin irritation isn’t dangerous. Once the bedwetting stops, the irritation or rash will go away. In the mean time, there are some simple ways to prevent and treat it.  The possibility for irritation is greater for children who wear absorbent garments. Be sure that you’ve chosen the right size. If the leg or waist band is too snug, those areas will be especially prone to irritation. You might find that you have to experiment with several brands before you get the right fit. Also, shop around for a brand that has a top layer designed to keep moisture away from the skin. 

Another important step is making sure that your child is thoroughly cleaned off after accidents happen. 

Make sure that your child washes off the area well. Give them a soft sponge to use for cleaning—keep the exfoliating loofah far out of reach! Applying a good ointment before bed time can also help.   If the problem persists or seems to get worse, check with your pediatrician.