Assess the Pee Situation

Bedwetting is a common problem. But every child (and every family for that matter) reacts to it differently. Take a few moments to evaluate the effect that bedwetting is having on you, your child, and your whole family. Knowing how much, or how little, everyone seems to be affected by it will help you come up with a treatment plan. 

Because 99% of children outgrow bedwetting, your child’s feelings should concern you more than the bedwetting itself. Is your child crying a lot and convinced he’ll have to give up his “big boy” pants for Huggie’s pull-ups? For every child that’s devastated by the bedwetting, there’s a child who’s totally unphased by it. The very worried child will need extra reassurance that there’s nothing wrong with them. With the carefree child, make sure they understand they should work on ending the bedwetting – but without converting them into a worrier.  Different parents have achieved different levels of “worry wart.” Some are world class heavy weights, others don’t even make the qualifying rounds.

Part of evaluating the problem is evaluating your own reaction to it. Does it keep you up at night or do you simply wash the sheets and forget about it? Has it had a minimal impact on your life or has it greatly interfered with your daily routine?  Make sure you’re taking the problem seriously, but ease up if you recognize that you’ve gone into panic mode. If the bedwetting has you massively stressed out, then you’ll need your own plan of action for handling it.  

The frequency of the bedwetting itself also deserves some attention. Some kids wet the bed nightly. Other kids may only do it a few times a month. The more frequently it occurs, the more aggressive you need to be in seeking treatment.

Night Lifting – Not to be confused with Night Prowling!

You’ve probably heard that waking your child up during the night can help with bedwetting. “Night lifting” is the name for this technique. Night lifting is effective for children who wet the bed because they’re heavy sleepers. They’re so conked out that they’re body doesn’t send the “wake up our bladder is full” signal.  Night lifting is simple. You wake up your child, walk them to the bathroom, and then help them back into bed after they’ve urinated.  

It’s called lifting, but no actual lifting need be involved.  

A very young child might need to be carried, but there’s no need to strain your back lifting your six-year-old out of bed. Most children wet the bed at about the same time every night. This tends to especially be true of children who follow a daily routine. If you know what time the accidents tend to occur, you can set your alarm to wake your child up before this time. I suppose you can figure this time out in one of two ways: set up a bed-side reconnaissance mission or simply experiment with different wake-up times until you’ve hit on the one that seems right. For instance, after a few days, you might realize that your child is dry before 11pm but wet after 1am. In time, you can effectively alter their nighttime “routine.” Their bodies will eventually set their own little internal alarm clocks. 

Night lifting is a free alternative to bedwetting alarms.  

The outcome of the two techniques is the same: your child’s body becomes programmed to wake up at night when their bladder is full. Enuresis alarms can cost upwards of $100, so I say give the freebie method a go before you lay out the cash.

Aha, That’s Why It Didn’t Work!

Sometimes physicians prescribe desmopressin to help treat bedwetting. It’s usually prescribed as a nasal spray. It works for many children (at least as a temporary fix – so something good to keep in mind for traveling, sleepovers, and camp). In fact, studies show it seems to work pretty well for about 70% of bedwetters.  

But what about the other 30%? What’s going on there? I know it didn’t work for our family. About all it did was give him a runny nose and a bunch of grumbling! Turns out, a study done in Denmark shows that the kids it didn’t work for have a higher level of sodium and urea in their urine than the kids it worked for. 

That’s right – sodium and urea. Just like the two ingredients that make cat pee stink so bad when it’s in your carpet or upholstery. This explains some things, don’t you think? If you’ve ever stood in your laundry room and felt like you might keel over, this is why. Sodium and urea biodegrade the longer they’re on the laundry.

I’m not going to get all scientific, but the upshot is that bacteria love this stuff, and do their thing in it. The result? P.U.! Anyhow, this hormone-like substance is the culprit. If you’re having a hard time, here’s a product that helps eliminate urine odor – I’ve found it very helpful. Don’t know how it works, except that it uses enzymes to naturally eliminate the critters that cause the stink. Let me know how it works for you.

Have a Chat – Build Goodwill

Kids will be kids, as they say. But in some ways, they’re little tiny adults. They appreciate the ability to share their input as much as we do. After all, isn’t that really what they’re doing when they inform us that they hate brushing their teeth?  I’ve found that it helps to sit down with your child and talk about your plan for resolving the bedwetting.

As much as we hate those extra loads of laundry, it really is your child who has the greatest stake in this whole thing. All of your well-researched and thoroughly-considered techniques might seem like a bizarre set of new rules to your child.  

Your child will be more receptive to the process when they understand it.  

Explain what all is involved with your plan – what the methods are, how they work, and why they’ll help. Give your child an opportunity to ask questions.  This is also an opportunity to gauge their reaction to certain methods. Like I mentioned before, it’s best not to force the issue if your child seems dead set against a particular plan of action. 

If a method is short-term, be sure to let your child know. They’re likely to be more open to an idea if they know it’s only temporary. Children’s imaginations can run wild. A 6-year-old might see herself wearing absorbent underpants to her high school prom if you don’t let her know it’s only for a month or two.   Keep the chat informal but informative. Just a few minutes of your time can make your child feel like you’re partners. 

If you could use some support and encouragement in your quest for dry nights for your bedwetting child, sign up for the free Bedwetting Help for Moms (and Dads!) newsletter at http://www.bedwettinghelpformoms.com. You’ll also receive the free report “Got a Bedwetter? Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid”.

Peas and Pee: Ask Your Child’s Opinion

 Kids and parents often disagree on what qualifies as a good idea – eating your peas before your chocolate pudding comes to mind. Bedwetting solutions are no exception. A technique you think is a great might sound like sheer misery to your child. 

For lots of reasons (our child’s comfort as well as our own sanity!) we’re looking for ways to end the bedwetting ASAP. When you read about the different techniques, there’s a temptation to rush to Target and start buying charts, stickers, and absorbent undergarments. Before you go shopping for pee gear, sit down and ask your child which approach they feel most comfortable with.  

One big reason is that certain techniques will only work with your child’s whole-hearted participation. 

Another reason is that all kids are different. For some, a given technique might feel really embarrassing, and then your good intentions will wind up being counterproductive. For instance, a three-year-old probably won’t be phased by absorbent undergarments. A six-year-old, however, might cry foul at what they perceive as a quasi-diaper. 

A child may be willing to try a technique at first, but after time, they may discover that they don’t like it. 

Be open to switching approaches. In the end, you’ll be more successful than if you insisted on forging ahead with a plan that’s in place but ineffective.  And hey, let’s be honest. No one likes to waste money. Some techniques, such as bedwetting alarms, can cost you a pretty penny. I definitely wouldn’t be thrilled to find out that the fairly pricey gadget makes my child feel like one of Dr. Frankenstein’s experiments!

Taking Care of the Skin They’re In

Bedwetting has very few physical side effects. One thing to watch out for, though, is skin irritation. You don’t want to share this analogy with your child (eek!), but you can think of it as diaper rash. If a baby is left in a wet diaper too long, their skin gets really irritated. Laying in urine for several hours will have the same effect.  

For your child, skin problems can be a painful (literally!) reminder of the problem. Plus, they might find it kind of scary to have a rash in such sensitive areas. 

The skin irritation isn’t dangerous. Once the bedwetting stops, the irritation or rash will go away. In the mean time, there are some simple ways to prevent and treat it.  The possibility for irritation is greater for children who wear absorbent garments. Be sure that you’ve chosen the right size. If the leg or waist band is too snug, those areas will be especially prone to irritation. You might find that you have to experiment with several brands before you get the right fit. Also, shop around for a brand that has a top layer designed to keep moisture away from the skin. 

Another important step is making sure that your child is thoroughly cleaned off after accidents happen. 

Make sure that your child washes off the area well. Give them a soft sponge to use for cleaning—keep the exfoliating loofah far out of reach! Applying a good ointment before bed time can also help.   If the problem persists or seems to get worse, check with your pediatrician.

Well, THAT’s Not Going to Work!

OK – settled in after vacation. Our first night up at the plate again. We’re ready to roll. The alarm’s in place (or, so I think). The kid’s in bed. I’m not hearing anything – you parents know that too-good-to-be-true silence I’m talking about.  

I go check on him, and he’s fast asleep – good sign. But, he’s unhooked the sensor end, and is holding it in his hand. No wonder it’s quiet! Unless he’s sweating profusely on his palms, that sensor’s going to be silent all night! Why did he do this? Why is the sky blue? It’s just one of life’s little mysteries.  

Compliance is, apparently, going to be the sticking point here.  

Having had some incredible training through Klemmer & Associates (www.klemmer.com), I’ve learned a thing or two about compliance vs. commitment.  

Compliance is doing what you’ve got to do – and usually leads to doing it begrudgingly or half-heartedly at best. It’s like flossing your teeth – nobody really likes it… but it beats getting yelled at by the dentist, right?  

Commitment, on the other hand, implies you’re fully on-board. You’re ready to play full-out. You’re fully invested, with a no-matter-what attitude.  

So, how do you move your bedwetter from compliance to commitment where it concerns bedwetting remedies?  

You’ve got a couple of choices – a carrot, or a stick. The carrot is something your child wants – the stick is something they don’t want. Either way, it’s got to be something your child cares about. Yes, even kids are savvy enough to ask, “What’s in it for me?”  

I’m thinking stickers on a chart aren’t going to cut it! In fact, for a carrot, we may have to look at cold, hard cash to move him to being committed. It would be a fair trade – up to some dollar amount, say the amount we’re paying for pull-ups. Stick-wise, we could bark up the same tree. It would really stink, as a kid, to have to put your own allowance into play to cover the expense of pull-ups — all because you chose not to give this alarm a full-out chance to do its thing. Right?  

What do you think? I’m up for ideas!

Back in the Malem Alarm Groove – Starting Again Tonight

 

OK – so maybe it wasn’t my brightest idea yet to start him with a bedwetting alarm just a few days before we left on vacation. It seemed as good a time as any! Chalk it up to experience, and let’s move on.  

Too funny – as we were packing up to leave, I made one final pass through the room to make sure we weren’t leaving anything behind. In one of those, “I thought YOU packed the stuff in the drawers” moments, I realized we’d nearly left the kids’ clothing behind. And of course, in that same drawer, our brand new bedwetting alarm!  

That would be a heck of a surprise tonight when we start the system again! Wonder what housekeeping would have done with that? At least it’s better than the time we nearly left our dear deceased guinea pig behind on top of the armoire.  

Long story short, the poor thing didn’t survive the heat on our drive to FL (even with A/C – and no, we didn’t leave it in the car!). Having nowhere to bury it that night (we were closing on a house the next day), and not wanting to chuck it into the dumpster, my hubby wrapped it in a shirt and put it on top of the armoire. In the confusion of leaving the next morning, it got left behind. About halfway out of the parking lot, DH remembered and made a beeline to retrieve it from the room. Now that would have been one freaked-out housekeeper!  

Parenting… never dull.

Alas… Giddy Too Soon

It was a streak – a lifetime achievement of sorts. But it’s on hold for the moment. We went on vacation, and have had a couple of less than thrilling nights dryness-wise. Maybe this is a show that’s not meant to be taken on the road? 

The first night, confident as all get out, he decided not to use the alarm… or pull-ups. I was not consulted in this matter, mind you. Good thing we thought ahead and brought our own mattress cover with us – so no harm done. Upon questioning him, bare lightbulb style, “Vee have vayyys of making you speak,” I found out he’d assumed a few dry nights meant he was done! Oh the optimism of youth!! 

Night two on vacation – no alarm. “Can’t find it, Mom. I have no idea where you put it!” (At close to $100, this is not an item I want going AWOL! Subsequently found it, safe and sound, in the drawer.) And at least this time, he went with pull-ups, so we didn’t have laundry to do this morning.  

By the way, we found some that seem to work well and fit! Youth sizes are hard to come by, but these disposables get the thumbs up. No leaking, no problems at all. 

I’m thinking we’ll put the alarm trial on hold for a few days until we get back home. And we’ll start again – but this time, I’ll explain that it’s about a three month process. Plus, even after you’re having a whole string of dry nights in a row, they recommend using it for another couple of weeks… just to be sure.

Giddy? Yup.

We could be onto something here!  

Another dry night (HOORAY!), and one happy kid. At first I thought that maybe he was staying dry by not actually sleeping (based on prior grumpiness) – but now it’s pretty obvious he’s been sleeping… and staying dry.  

I can see on his face how proud he is to have these few dry nights under his belt. Even with his complaints about the alarm giving him a heart attack, he’s catching the vision for what life could be like without a bedwetting problem. Interrupted sleep for some small period of time might just be worth it for the freedom he’ll have when he’s got this beat. 

We’ll see whether this track record keeps going.