Aha, That’s Why It Didn’t Work!

Sometimes physicians prescribe desmopressin to help treat bedwetting. It’s usually prescribed as a nasal spray. It works for many children (at least as a temporary fix – so something good to keep in mind for traveling, sleepovers, and camp). In fact, studies show it seems to work pretty well for about 70% of bedwetters.  

But what about the other 30%? What’s going on there? I know it didn’t work for our family. About all it did was give him a runny nose and a bunch of grumbling! Turns out, a study done in Denmark shows that the kids it didn’t work for have a higher level of sodium and urea in their urine than the kids it worked for. 

That’s right – sodium and urea. Just like the two ingredients that make cat pee stink so bad when it’s in your carpet or upholstery. This explains some things, don’t you think? If you’ve ever stood in your laundry room and felt like you might keel over, this is why. Sodium and urea biodegrade the longer they’re on the laundry.

I’m not going to get all scientific, but the upshot is that bacteria love this stuff, and do their thing in it. The result? P.U.! Anyhow, this hormone-like substance is the culprit. If you’re having a hard time, here’s a product that helps eliminate urine odor – I’ve found it very helpful. Don’t know how it works, except that it uses enzymes to naturally eliminate the critters that cause the stink. Let me know how it works for you.

“Talk Back” from this weeks’ newsletter

From time to time, as readers share their struggles with trying to help their bedwetting children, (with their permission), I’ll post them here as well as in the Bedwetting Help for Moms (and Dads!) newsletter. If you’ve dealt with a similar situation, or have encouragement or advice to share, please do! If you’d like to share your own story, email it to info@bedwettinghelpformoms.com. Subscribe to the free bedwetting help newsletter (and a free report “Got a Bedwetter? Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid”) at http://www.bedwettinghelpformoms.com. 

 

Hi, I just recently found your newsletter and I just wanted to share my ‘nightmare’. My daughter was totally toilet trained by about 4 years of age. Tree years later she wet her pants in the middle of the day while we were out. Twice. She said she didn’t feel it coming. She started wetting her bed since then. This happened for about a week and then the day time wetting  stopped but the night time stayed. She wets twice a night. This has been going on for two years now. She’s turning 9 next month. Urine analysis is always clear. Kidney ultrasounds are fine. Stopping intake of water after dinner changes nothing. Me getting her up in the middle of the night might stop her doing one wee but I’m never in time for the next one. My hair is literally falling out from stress over this. She has become a very angry little girl because she feels so inadequate. Doctors don’t seen to listen when I tell them that she ‘was’ toilet trained and no, she hasn’t been molested, raped or in any other way damaged. I have decided to take charge of the situation myself and have requested an abdominal x-ray to see if there’s anything else happening. I’ll let you know if anything changes. 

Till then,

L

Have a Chat – Build Goodwill

Kids will be kids, as they say. But in some ways, they’re little tiny adults. They appreciate the ability to share their input as much as we do. After all, isn’t that really what they’re doing when they inform us that they hate brushing their teeth?  I’ve found that it helps to sit down with your child and talk about your plan for resolving the bedwetting.

As much as we hate those extra loads of laundry, it really is your child who has the greatest stake in this whole thing. All of your well-researched and thoroughly-considered techniques might seem like a bizarre set of new rules to your child.  

Your child will be more receptive to the process when they understand it.  

Explain what all is involved with your plan – what the methods are, how they work, and why they’ll help. Give your child an opportunity to ask questions.  This is also an opportunity to gauge their reaction to certain methods. Like I mentioned before, it’s best not to force the issue if your child seems dead set against a particular plan of action. 

If a method is short-term, be sure to let your child know. They’re likely to be more open to an idea if they know it’s only temporary. Children’s imaginations can run wild. A 6-year-old might see herself wearing absorbent underpants to her high school prom if you don’t let her know it’s only for a month or two.   Keep the chat informal but informative. Just a few minutes of your time can make your child feel like you’re partners. 

If you could use some support and encouragement in your quest for dry nights for your bedwetting child, sign up for the free Bedwetting Help for Moms (and Dads!) newsletter at http://www.bedwettinghelpformoms.com. You’ll also receive the free report “Got a Bedwetter? Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid”.

Peas and Pee: Ask Your Child’s Opinion

 Kids and parents often disagree on what qualifies as a good idea – eating your peas before your chocolate pudding comes to mind. Bedwetting solutions are no exception. A technique you think is a great might sound like sheer misery to your child. 

For lots of reasons (our child’s comfort as well as our own sanity!) we’re looking for ways to end the bedwetting ASAP. When you read about the different techniques, there’s a temptation to rush to Target and start buying charts, stickers, and absorbent undergarments. Before you go shopping for pee gear, sit down and ask your child which approach they feel most comfortable with.  

One big reason is that certain techniques will only work with your child’s whole-hearted participation. 

Another reason is that all kids are different. For some, a given technique might feel really embarrassing, and then your good intentions will wind up being counterproductive. For instance, a three-year-old probably won’t be phased by absorbent undergarments. A six-year-old, however, might cry foul at what they perceive as a quasi-diaper. 

A child may be willing to try a technique at first, but after time, they may discover that they don’t like it. 

Be open to switching approaches. In the end, you’ll be more successful than if you insisted on forging ahead with a plan that’s in place but ineffective.  And hey, let’s be honest. No one likes to waste money. Some techniques, such as bedwetting alarms, can cost you a pretty penny. I definitely wouldn’t be thrilled to find out that the fairly pricey gadget makes my child feel like one of Dr. Frankenstein’s experiments!

Taking Care of the Skin They’re In

Bedwetting has very few physical side effects. One thing to watch out for, though, is skin irritation. You don’t want to share this analogy with your child (eek!), but you can think of it as diaper rash. If a baby is left in a wet diaper too long, their skin gets really irritated. Laying in urine for several hours will have the same effect.  

For your child, skin problems can be a painful (literally!) reminder of the problem. Plus, they might find it kind of scary to have a rash in such sensitive areas. 

The skin irritation isn’t dangerous. Once the bedwetting stops, the irritation or rash will go away. In the mean time, there are some simple ways to prevent and treat it.  The possibility for irritation is greater for children who wear absorbent garments. Be sure that you’ve chosen the right size. If the leg or waist band is too snug, those areas will be especially prone to irritation. You might find that you have to experiment with several brands before you get the right fit. Also, shop around for a brand that has a top layer designed to keep moisture away from the skin. 

Another important step is making sure that your child is thoroughly cleaned off after accidents happen. 

Make sure that your child washes off the area well. Give them a soft sponge to use for cleaning—keep the exfoliating loofah far out of reach! Applying a good ointment before bed time can also help.   If the problem persists or seems to get worse, check with your pediatrician.

Well, THAT’s Not Going to Work!

OK – settled in after vacation. Our first night up at the plate again. We’re ready to roll. The alarm’s in place (or, so I think). The kid’s in bed. I’m not hearing anything – you parents know that too-good-to-be-true silence I’m talking about.  

I go check on him, and he’s fast asleep – good sign. But, he’s unhooked the sensor end, and is holding it in his hand. No wonder it’s quiet! Unless he’s sweating profusely on his palms, that sensor’s going to be silent all night! Why did he do this? Why is the sky blue? It’s just one of life’s little mysteries.  

Compliance is, apparently, going to be the sticking point here.  

Having had some incredible training through Klemmer & Associates (www.klemmer.com), I’ve learned a thing or two about compliance vs. commitment.  

Compliance is doing what you’ve got to do – and usually leads to doing it begrudgingly or half-heartedly at best. It’s like flossing your teeth – nobody really likes it… but it beats getting yelled at by the dentist, right?  

Commitment, on the other hand, implies you’re fully on-board. You’re ready to play full-out. You’re fully invested, with a no-matter-what attitude.  

So, how do you move your bedwetter from compliance to commitment where it concerns bedwetting remedies?  

You’ve got a couple of choices – a carrot, or a stick. The carrot is something your child wants – the stick is something they don’t want. Either way, it’s got to be something your child cares about. Yes, even kids are savvy enough to ask, “What’s in it for me?”  

I’m thinking stickers on a chart aren’t going to cut it! In fact, for a carrot, we may have to look at cold, hard cash to move him to being committed. It would be a fair trade – up to some dollar amount, say the amount we’re paying for pull-ups. Stick-wise, we could bark up the same tree. It would really stink, as a kid, to have to put your own allowance into play to cover the expense of pull-ups — all because you chose not to give this alarm a full-out chance to do its thing. Right?  

What do you think? I’m up for ideas!

Back in the Malem Alarm Groove – Starting Again Tonight

 

OK – so maybe it wasn’t my brightest idea yet to start him with a bedwetting alarm just a few days before we left on vacation. It seemed as good a time as any! Chalk it up to experience, and let’s move on.  

Too funny – as we were packing up to leave, I made one final pass through the room to make sure we weren’t leaving anything behind. In one of those, “I thought YOU packed the stuff in the drawers” moments, I realized we’d nearly left the kids’ clothing behind. And of course, in that same drawer, our brand new bedwetting alarm!  

That would be a heck of a surprise tonight when we start the system again! Wonder what housekeeping would have done with that? At least it’s better than the time we nearly left our dear deceased guinea pig behind on top of the armoire.  

Long story short, the poor thing didn’t survive the heat on our drive to FL (even with A/C – and no, we didn’t leave it in the car!). Having nowhere to bury it that night (we were closing on a house the next day), and not wanting to chuck it into the dumpster, my hubby wrapped it in a shirt and put it on top of the armoire. In the confusion of leaving the next morning, it got left behind. About halfway out of the parking lot, DH remembered and made a beeline to retrieve it from the room. Now that would have been one freaked-out housekeeper!  

Parenting… never dull.

Make a List and Check It Twice

Finding a way for your child to keep track of their progress can be a big help. When it comes to reaching goals, children are the same as adults. They like to see their progress. It’s important for them to know that they’re getting somewhere. With small children, it’s easy for them to forget past successes when all they can see is the recent “failure.”  

One way to keep track of their progress is with a chart. A chart that breaks up the month into weeks and then breaks up the week into days is a simple way to do it. Plus, it will be easy for your child to understand.  

Plus, if you’re like me, you know how much fun it is to check stuff off of lists. Start your babies young! (Nope – it doesn’t take a whole lot to float my boat!) 

Then it’s up to you how you’d like to make a note of the progress. For example, you could put stickers on the days when your child wakes up dry. You could have a different sticker that represents nights when your child successfully made it to the bathroom. Different colored marks will also work well. 

You could go nuts – and do some color coding. Use those nice scented markers for an extra treat! 

It’s a tough call as to whether you should have a special notation for nights when your child wets the bed. On the one hand, that could be pretty embarrassing. On the other hand, it will let your child see the big picture. The two of you might even be able to pinpoint some kind of pattern.  

Seeing progress will motivate your child to keep working on the problem. As I’ve mentioned before, there are ways that your child can actively participate in overcoming bedwetting. Realizing that these techniques are working will encourage your child to keep using them.