Dry Sheets Are at the End of the Tunnel

For kids who wet the bed, it may seem like there’s no end in sight. When you’re five, two months can feel like two years. That’s why it’s important to periodically remind your child that the problem won’t last forever. Bed wetting can seem like a huge deal to your child. They might feel embarrassed, ashamed, or even angry with themselves. Thinking the problem is going to drag on and on will only make the whole situation seem worse.  

A bleak outlook can lead to a “what’s the point?” attitude when you’re trying different techniques to help with the problem. 

If someone else in the family, like a big brother or sister, used to wet the bed, have them talk with your child. It might help to see living proof that eventually the problem really does go away.  You can sit down with your child and explain in kid-friendly terms what doctors have learned about bed wetting. Tell them that with all the kids in the world who’ve had trouble with wetting the bed, we’ve been able to learn that the problem goes away – and it doesn’t always take a long time. 

Pointing out their progress can also help your child see the light (or dry sheets?) at the end of the tunnel.  

They’ll realize that with their gradual improvements, the problem is getting smaller and smaller. Eventually, it will just disappear! When your child is feeling calmer and more self-assured, the two of you will have an easier time working on the problem.  

Check out our brand new book on bedwetting: Zumar and the Amazing Odyssey into Dry – a great book to read to your child, or for young readers to read to themselves – about causes and treatments for bedwetting. Be sure to sign up for the bedwetting help report while you’re there!

Peas and Pee: Ask Your Child’s Opinion

 Kids and parents often disagree on what qualifies as a good idea – eating your peas before your chocolate pudding comes to mind. Bedwetting solutions are no exception. A technique you think is a great might sound like sheer misery to your child. 

For lots of reasons (our child’s comfort as well as our own sanity!) we’re looking for ways to end the bedwetting ASAP. When you read about the different techniques, there’s a temptation to rush to Target and start buying charts, stickers, and absorbent undergarments. Before you go shopping for pee gear, sit down and ask your child which approach they feel most comfortable with.  

One big reason is that certain techniques will only work with your child’s whole-hearted participation. 

Another reason is that all kids are different. For some, a given technique might feel really embarrassing, and then your good intentions will wind up being counterproductive. For instance, a three-year-old probably won’t be phased by absorbent undergarments. A six-year-old, however, might cry foul at what they perceive as a quasi-diaper. 

A child may be willing to try a technique at first, but after time, they may discover that they don’t like it. 

Be open to switching approaches. In the end, you’ll be more successful than if you insisted on forging ahead with a plan that’s in place but ineffective.  And hey, let’s be honest. No one likes to waste money. Some techniques, such as bedwetting alarms, can cost you a pretty penny. I definitely wouldn’t be thrilled to find out that the fairly pricey gadget makes my child feel like one of Dr. Frankenstein’s experiments!

Make a List and Check It Twice

Finding a way for your child to keep track of their progress can be a big help. When it comes to reaching goals, children are the same as adults. They like to see their progress. It’s important for them to know that they’re getting somewhere. With small children, it’s easy for them to forget past successes when all they can see is the recent “failure.”  

One way to keep track of their progress is with a chart. A chart that breaks up the month into weeks and then breaks up the week into days is a simple way to do it. Plus, it will be easy for your child to understand.  

Plus, if you’re like me, you know how much fun it is to check stuff off of lists. Start your babies young! (Nope – it doesn’t take a whole lot to float my boat!) 

Then it’s up to you how you’d like to make a note of the progress. For example, you could put stickers on the days when your child wakes up dry. You could have a different sticker that represents nights when your child successfully made it to the bathroom. Different colored marks will also work well. 

You could go nuts – and do some color coding. Use those nice scented markers for an extra treat! 

It’s a tough call as to whether you should have a special notation for nights when your child wets the bed. On the one hand, that could be pretty embarrassing. On the other hand, it will let your child see the big picture. The two of you might even be able to pinpoint some kind of pattern.  

Seeing progress will motivate your child to keep working on the problem. As I’ve mentioned before, there are ways that your child can actively participate in overcoming bedwetting. Realizing that these techniques are working will encourage your child to keep using them. 

 

Giddy? Yup.

We could be onto something here!  

Another dry night (HOORAY!), and one happy kid. At first I thought that maybe he was staying dry by not actually sleeping (based on prior grumpiness) – but now it’s pretty obvious he’s been sleeping… and staying dry.  

I can see on his face how proud he is to have these few dry nights under his belt. Even with his complaints about the alarm giving him a heart attack, he’s catching the vision for what life could be like without a bedwetting problem. Interrupted sleep for some small period of time might just be worth it for the freedom he’ll have when he’s got this beat. 

We’ll see whether this track record keeps going.

Early to Bed – Less Likely to Wet

Sleeping too deeply to wake up and use the bathroom is a very common cause of bedwetting. Some kids are deep sleepers by nature, but there’s something you can do that might help. It’s pretty simple – and simple is good! Just have your child go to bed earlier.  

Kids who are really tired are going to have a harder time waking up, even if their bodies say, “Whoa! Mr. Bladder is completely full!” 

You can probably relate…well, maybe not to the bedwetting part. But think about the last time you worked really hard and went to bed physically exhausted, say a Saturday spent cleaning out the garage. It was probably the some of the soundest sleep you’ve ever gotten. 

Our little guys don’t need a full day of physical activity to go to bed exhausted. Their little bodies get worn out much more quickly than an adult’s. A day of school and an afternoon playing outside will be enough to wipe them out.  

Understandably so, your child might balk at the earlier bed time. 

You remember being a kid. You have this illogical but intense desire to stay up as late as possible. Remind your child that it’s only temporary and that it’s a good way to help them stop wetting the bed. You can probably get your child to understand that a few weeks of going to bed early is good trade off for no more bedwetting. 

Also, you want to be careful that the earlier bed time doesn’t seem like a punishment. 

A child who’s already feeling embarrassed about the bedwetting might be quick to construe it that way. You should be able to prevent those feelings just by explaining how the early bed time will stop with the bedwetting. Just take a few minutes to explain to your child that it’s definitely not a punishment.

The Perfect Storm?

I’ve been doing some reading about diaper dependency.  

Gosh – who knew this would ever be a term that we’d have in our vocabulary? Basically, it’s the idea that perhaps kids pee because they know they can. After all, who really wants to get up and go in the middle of the night?  

It’s a line of discussion that goes dangerously close to the point of saying that bedwetting kids wet because 1) they’re lazy, 2) they don’t care, or 3) they choose to. And I’m not going anywhere near there. I know better. No matter how lazy a kid may be in terms of cleaning up Legos, doing chores around the house, or even completely erasing a math homework error before writing the correct answer —  

Laziness is not a big enough motivator to make a kid want to wet the bed.  

However, when your child is learning to stay dry during the day, it’s hard to feel the full effects of a pee accident if they’re wearing an absorbent pull-up. There comes a time when you’ve got to chuck the pull-ups and try it without that safety net. With a pull-up, a kid’s going to have a hard time realizing they’ve had an accident. Maybe it’s the same thing with nighttime enuresis.  

This seems like a good time to do an experiment – since we’re currently between sizes (adult sizes are too big; kid sizes are too small).  

We’re going to let him go without anything for a few days – just to see what happens.  

Theoretically, it shouldn’t be a big deal:·        I’m already doing pee laundry every day anyway (absorbent pull-ups? ehhhh, not really) so it’s not going to make much difference. ·        We’ve got a good waterproof mattress cover, so it’s not going to do any harm.·        He’s already learned to be responsible for taking care of his skin, showering every day.·        I’ll solemnly promise – and you can hold me to it! – not to complain if it doesn’t work. 

Who knows? It could work. He’s nearing the magic age some of his relatives were when their enuresis stopped. Could this be the perfect storm of circumstances? I’ll let you know. 

How’s he doing with all of this?  

That’s something that makes me really proud – he’s such a cool kid. It’s made him pretty compassionate about other kids with medical problems or challenges. I’ve never heard him say anything even slightly unkind about someone’s challenges. He’s gotten pretty good at talking about it – and, thankfully, nails me any time I complain or make him feel bad about his problem. (Wish I could say I’ve never said anything I wish I hadn’t.) He’s even written a little book about the whole bedwetting issue. If I can get him to illustrate it, I’ll do it up as a PDF so you can download it. He’s always been really encouraged to hear about other kids (and adults) who have or had the same struggle. So he’s hoping his little book will help other kids. Now that’s something that makes for a really cool kid – and a very proud mom. 

 

 

 

Put on YOUR Big Girl Panties and Deal with It

Bedwetting can be a very emotional issue – for parents and children.

Embarrassment, frustration, shame…it’s like a soap opera without the evil twins and frequent bouts of amnesia. Seriously, though, there have been polls that suggest Enuresis is one of the most stressful events for a family to deal with.  

For those reasons, you definitely want to overcome all the emotions first. As a parent it’s particularly important to get all your feelings sorted out. You’ve got to be level-headed and patient throughout all of this.  

But let’s face it. All the warm fuzzies in the world aren’t going to change the sheets for you.

Dealing with all the emotions is the first step, not the only step. Once you’ve helped your child cope, it’s time to take action.  

Your child’s bedwetting will eventually go away. Technically, I suppose, you can sit back and let nature take its course, but it’s not good idea. Enuresis is bound to be tough on your child. Why prolong it? It’s hardly a box of bon bons for you either.  

Unless you dance for joy at the site of a full laundry basket, you want to do what you can speed up the process. Luckily, there are many reliable methods for helping your child overcome bedwetting. Some are simple, like having your child go to the bathroom right before bed. Others are a bit more involved, such as bedwetting “alarms.”  

Millions (perhaps billions if there were little baby nomads wetting the tent…) of parents have dealt with Enuresis. You can benefit from their failures and successes. There’s a lot of advice out there. You’ll have no trouble putting together a plan of action that works for you and your child.

To Pee Or Not To Pee – That Is The Question

OK – so the title of this blog is “To Pee Or Not To Pee.”

As the mom of a boy who is the latest in a long line of bedwetters, I know that without a sense of humor, you’re a goner. This blog is intended to help other moms (and dads) who are coping with a child who wets the bed.

Bedwetting’s kind of a weird thing – it’s a problem that sort of creeps up on you. When your toddler wets the bed, you don’t give it much thought. Then if your preschooler can’t stay dry, you start thinking, “Hmmm – this doesn’t seem right.” By the time your child’s in elementary school, there’s no denying it – and it gets its own medical name – nocturnal enuresis. And having an official diagnosis kind of helps – but you’ve still got a lot to cope with. And more importantly, you’ve got a little one you’ve got to help as they cope, too.

Here are just a few of the challenges:

• You’re likely to get some bizarre, bad, and even sometimes horrible advice from your friends and family. They may say things that make you wonder whether you’ve somehow caused your child’s bedwetting problem.

• You’ve got questions. They sound something like, “Why can’t my kid stay dry? When will it end? What’s the cause? What can we do to help?” Your family physican can answer a lot of this, but it really helps to hear from other parents who are going through the same thing.

• You’re hoping to be able to help your child cope. They need to understand that this isn’t a problem that defines who they are. They probably struggle with feeling like a baby, feeling ashamed, wondering whether their friends and relatives would accept them if they were in on “the secret” – and wondering how they can handle doing the fun things other kids do without a second thought, like sleepovers and camp.

• You’ve probably got a laundry problem. Keeping up with the laundry’s never a piece of cake anyway, but add in a load (or two!) of sheets each day, and you can end up feeling like you’re pushing a rock up a steep hill.

I know what you deal with every morning, the struggles you have, the bad advice you’ve gotten, the guilt and fear that you’ve somehow done this to your child. We’ve tried lots of things – and are still in search of the bedwetting silver bullet! I’ve made lots of mistakes in dealing with my son.

Parenting’s not for sissies – or Lone Rangers

But I’m a firm believer in the power of having friends who are supportive and encouraging, who’ll share the information they come across, who’ll give me the scoop on bedwetting products before we try them, who’ll give a kind word when you need it, who’ll help me become a better parent. That’s what I hope to offer here.

If you’ve got a child with a bedwetting problem, I’d love to hear from you. Share what you’ve learned, what you’ve tried, what you struggle with.